Frequent Kidnappings
by MegaPotterGleek
Summary: Roxanne Ritchie and Megamind have an interesting history. A series of one shots dedicated to all the times that Megamind kidnapped Roxanne, and how their chemistry started to grow. Rating has gone up to T.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Megamind, I just love him.

Roxanne Ritchie sat up taller in her chair and smoothed out her skirt. "I'm sure he'll be here any minute," she said, to Leslie, the reporter who was currently training her.

"Yeah, yeah," replied Leslie, re-applying her lipstick. "The second you said that you got an interview with Metro Man, I knew it was a bluff. Why don't you just give it up Ritchie?"

Roxanne slumped in her chair. "It's not a bluff," she muttered. "He said he'd be here."

Leslie just rolled her eyes in response. Hal, the new camera guy, stood behind the camera, staring at Roxanne. Quickly he piped up, "I totally believe you Roxanne!"

"Thanks Hal," said Roxanne, but she was starting to have doubts herself.

Two days ago, she'd been walking through the park when a mugger had jumped out at her. She'd quickly reached for her pepper spray, being the resourceful woman that she was, but she'd barely needed to. In an instant, with a streak of white, the mugger was tied up against a nearby tree, looking dazed, and none other than the cities defender Metro Man was hovering in front of her giving her a glowing smile. She'd thanked him profusely, then hopefully asked if he'd be willing to give her an interview.

"Metro Man said it was no problem. He's probably just running a little late," Roxanne said quickly, but she had barely needed to say anything. At that moment, the door swung up, nearly falling off it's hinges.

"Did someone say Metro Man?" said the tall, muscular man, giving a dazzling smile.

Roxanne smiled in an "I told you so way," at Leslie's shocked look.

…

"Minion!" cried Megamind. "Where's that confounded wrench I asked for ten minutes ago?"

"The brain-bots won't give it back," called Minion, from his spot high in the air where the brain bots were dangling him from. "They also won't leave me alone."

"Drat!" yelped Megamind, ignoring Minion's slightly perilous situation. "I'm on the verge of a scientific breakthrough! Brain-bots! Bring Daddy the wrench now!"

A brain-bot soared toward him and dropped the wrench… directly on the new machine he was working on, thus crushing it.

Megamind collapsed in frustration.

There was another loud crash, and Megamind turned to see Minion getting shakily off the ground where the brain-bots had dropped him.

"Sir, perhaps what we should do is take a breather," said Minion shaking his fishy head.

"Take a breather?" asked Megamind curiously.

"It means break," Minion quickly replied.

"Breather…" said Megamind thoughtfully. "Oh, all right."

Minion smiled happily and reached for the television remote to turn on the big screen TV that they had stolen recently.

Megamind watched the screen as Minion flipped through several channels. He wasn't really paying attention. After all, coming up with an evil scheme was much more important. Unfortunately he seemed to be having evil scheme block.

The channels flashed before his eyes, then suddenly, something popped out at him.

Short brown hair, perfect skin, and beautiful eyes. The picture was there for a split second, then gone as Minion changed the channel once more.

"Go back!" yelped Megamind quickly.

Minion looked at his boss in surprise, then quickly obeyed.

"And why, Metro Man, do you think that it's so important to protect our parks?" asked the woman in a smooth voice.

The camera shot changed to a close up of Metro Man "Well, obviously because the environment is so important. It's critical to save it for our future generations, Miss Ritchie." replied Metro Man with a glowing smile. Megamind glared at his nemesis on the television.

"Oh please," laughed the woman. "Call me Roxanne."

"Roxanne," sighed Megamind, his glare softening.

"Alright then, Roxanne," replied Metro Man, smiling.

"Well, it looks as though we are out of time," said Roxanne, her eyes glued on Metro Man. "But I would certainly like to thank Metro Man, defender of our beautiful city, for the time he took for this interview."

"Anything for you, Roxi," said Megamind, winking.

The interview finished. Minion looked worriedly at his boss, who was staring blissfully at the television. "Sir?"

"Minion!" said Megamind in surprise, as though he'd forgotten that he was there. "I apologize. I was momentarily captivated by that human."

Minion raised his eyebrows, obviously confused.

"Well," said Megamind with a shrug, trying to act nonchalant about the entire situation. "She was pretty."

Minion shook his head, still confused. "Well, it looked like Metro Man thought the same."

"Come again?" asked Megamind dreamily.

"Wasn't it obvious?" asked Minion. "It seemed to me like Metro Man had what these humans call 'affection' toward this Roxanne." Minion was hoping that his boss was starting to get his point.

Megamind slumped. "Really?" he asked sounding disappointed. "That's terrible."

"No sir, that's good," said Minion. "You could use her as bait to get Metro Man to come to his doom."

Megamind brightened instantly. "Minion! My schemer's block has finally broken! What if I used this Roxanne Ritchie to lead Metro Man to his doom?"

"Excellent plan sir!" said Minion quickly, allowing Megamind to take credit as usual.

"Yes, excellent! To the Invisible Car!"

…

"Roxi, huh?" asked Leslie after Metro Man flew away. "And an invite to dinner? Sounds like you two are pretty serious."

"Please," laughed Roxanne. "We've met twice ever."

Leslie just rolled her eyes. Roxanne knew she was just jealous.

"Well, I think I'll be going now," said Roxanne, inching her way toward the door. Leslie just waved carelessly.

Roxanne sighed in the open air. The sky was a beautiful dark purple dusk. It was another wonderful night in Metro City.

She began to walk, and was beginning to hum to herself when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned quickly. Nothing.

Walking more briskly now, she hurried toward her apartment, trying not to freak out to much.

Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder. She jumped around and had no time to see who the tap-er was before she was knocked out cold.

…

"Perfect!" said Megamind, as Minion placed the woman in a steel chair, a brown bag covering her head. "Quickly, Minion, places! She shall wake up soon!"

Megamind sat himself in his high backed chair. He placed his fingertips together and his elbows on the arm of the chair. "Action," he whispered, putting on his most evil smirk.

"Uh," groaned Roxanne. Minion whipped the bag off her head. For a moment, she blinked, trying to take in her surroundings. "Where am I?"

Megamind was practically squirming with excitement. "Mwahahaha," he laughed low and evil. He turned his chair. "So… Roxanne Ritchie. We meet at last."

Roxanne's eyes widened. "Megamind?" she said, squirming a little with her bonds.

"Yes!" he cried, standing dramatically. "It is I, Megamind!"

_I thought this guy would be way more threatening in person_, thought Roxanne, scrunching her eyebrows. "That's what I just said."

Megamind's dramatic pose deflated slightly. "Aren't you terrified?"

Roxanne bit her lip. This was almost… comical. "Well, I'm a little worried I guess."

Megamind's jaw dropped. "Worried? Worried? Perhaps you'll be a little more terrified when you know the torturous schemes I have planned for you."

Smiling evilly, Megamind turned and pressed a large button on his dashboard. Roxanne flinched as flames shot up in a circle around her.

"Mwahahahahaha!" Megamind laughed again. "How are you feeling now? A little more terrified?"

_Maybe a little_ Roxanne thought, but she said nothing.

Roxanne's silence caught Megamind by surprise. No screaming. Or response. He peered through the flames. She seemed fine.

"I said, 'A little more terrified?'" He asked more loudly.

"Well, maybe a little more sweaty."

Megamind's shoulder's slumped again and he went to turn off the flames.

"Fine, have it you're way _Roxanne_," he hissed, trying his best at evil. "Obviously the flames aren't scary enough for you!"

He pressed another button dramatically and the ceiling sprung open, a pendulum with a large blade swung from the ceiling, and began to swing back and forth, getting closer to the top of her head.

Roxanne gulped. "Ok, maybe now I'm a little scared," she said nervously.

"Perfect!" cried Megamind, rushing to grab something. Roxanne tensed, but he merely grabbed a microphone off of his dashboard of blinking lights and mechanics.

"Metro Man!" yelled Megamind into the microphone. Then his eyebrows scrunched at the device.

"Minion," whispered Megamind. "Why isn't this working?"

Roxanne could have almost laughed if her situation wasn't so dire. Minion rushed toward Megamind, whispered "it's not on," and flipped a little switch on the bottom.

"Thank you Minion!" said Megamind, back to dramatic. Then, going back to his microphone, he bellowed "Metro Man!"

This time, his yell echoed loudly all around.

"I have Roxanne Ritchie in my clutches!" Megamind cried dramatically. He waited a moment, then looked at Roxanne. "You should scream now," he whispered to Roxanne, covering his mic.

She raised her eyebrows. "Umm.. I don't think so."

Megamind's shoulders slumped again. "She is… silent with… fear," he said into the microphone quickly. "Anyway! You have a half hour! Wait any longer, and Roxanne Ritchie will be dead!

Roxanne's breath caught in her throat as Megamind turned off his microphone.

Time seemed to pass quicker than usual, all the while the blade getting closer to Roxanne's head. Megamind walked around, tapping his fingers against his arms. She watched him wander, feeling a little sick, although she wasn't going to let on.

"So," she asked, trying to sound impressive. "Why me?"

Megamind turned to look at her in surprise. His captives never talked so nonchalantly to him.

"Why you… what?" he asked.

"Why kidnap me?"

"Because you have Metro Man's," he grimaced a little, "_affections."_

Roxanne laughed. "What?"

"Umm… sir," interrupted a voice that Roxanne now knew was Minion. "Metro Man still has five minutes, but I think that that blade is getting a little close to Miss Ritchie's head."

"Oh!" said Megamind in surprise, rushing over to his dashboard. He turned a crank and the blade moved back up.

Roxanne glanced up in surprise. And suddenly, with that, she realized that Megamind wasn't actually going to hurt her.

There was a loud bang as the ceiling was ripped open.

"Metro Man!" laughed Megamind, as Metro Man hovered up high in the air. "You've come directly into my trap!"

Lasers surrounded Metro Man. "Please Megamind, you should know that lasers are no match for justice!"

He flew toward the laser and was instantly zapped back.

"Mwahahahahaha!" laughed Megamind. "It seems that justice is no match for my amazing intellect!"

Metro Man shook his head, seeming dazed by the shock.

"Now!" yelped Megamind, turning around. "Now, you shall give into my demands! I want you behind bars this time, and Metrocity all to myself!"

Roxanne tried not to laugh as Megamind babbled on. Above, Metro Man was using his laser vision against the lasers surrounding him. Roxanne was pleased to see it was working.

"And finally! One BILLION dollars!"

Metro Man swooped down behind Megamind and tapped him on the shoulder. Megamind turned… and received a punch in the face.

"OH!" yelped Megamind.

"The police are on the way," said Metro Man, smiling winningly. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed Megamind to his own machinery.

He swooped toward Roxanne, leaving a dazed Megamind behind. Quickly he untied Roxanne. She smiled at him and was surprised when he scooped her up and flew her out.

Megamind watched as Metroman swooped out with Roxanne. And despite the fact he'd just lost, he had to admit… that had been the most fun he'd had in a long time.

…

**A/N: **This was a lot longer than I expected it to be. I just couldn't stop.

So, I might write more, or I might just leave this a one shot. Please tell me what you think. I love reviews.

And finally, if you like this story, I'm currently working on another story, multi chapter, set after the movie. Watch for it!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Ok, I lied. I didn't like the other Megamind story I was writing, but I did like this, so I decided to keep doing this one, and drop the other. Here you go. Thanks to all who reviewed, please keep it up.

…

It was pitch black in Megamind's cell. He sat quietly in his chair staring at the door.

Suddenly, a tiny, blinking light slid under the door.

Megamind smiled evilly. It was about time. He reached down, picked up the tiny, blinking light. It was a little square, about the size of the tip of his thumb and thin as a sheet of paper.

The light blinked faster and faster. Megamind hurriedly placed it in front of the wall, and stepped back in front of his cell door.

An explosion went off, small enough to not effect him, but big enough to put a hole in the wall.

"Hey!" yelled the Warden outside his cell, pounding on the door.

Laughing maniacally, Megamind rushed out the hole in the wall and ran into an open field.

Out of nowhere, Minion swooped down, helicopter blades spinning out of the backpack he was wearing.

Several cops ran after him and watched as Megamind was picked up by his strange robotic friend, and flown away, sticking his tongue out at them.

…

"You know, it's weird," said Roxanne stirring her coffee calmly. "I think that the reason Megamind kidnapped me is because he thought we were…" she lowered her voice as she looked at Metro Man, "dating."

They both laughed a little.

"Interesting theory on his part," said Metro Man in his bold voice.

There was an awkward silence.

"I mean, we've barely even spent more than an hour together," said Roxanne, at the same time that Metro Man was saying "Perhaps we could make that a reality."

Roxanne blinked. "You want to date me?" she asked curiously.

Metro Man chuckled. "Not really," he said. Roxanne was actually surprisingly relieved at this answer. "But why not let Megamind think that? And the rest of Metro City for that matter?"

Roxanne continued to stare at him, confused.

"Look at it this way," said Metro Man, sitting back and grinning at Roxanne. "It will be good for your career, and it will keep all those fan girls from stalking me. It's a win win situation."

Her eyebrows still quirked, Roxanne started to smile.

"Ok then," she said. She stuck out her hand tentatively. "It's a deal, _boyfriend._"

…

Roxanne watched as Metro Man flew off, leaving her standing outside the little diner. With a smile, she started walking the other way thinking of the way he'd kissed her hand, and people around them had started whispering. What a perfect plan this had been.

She walked around a corner, and two large, metal hands reached out and grabbed her, one on her mouth and one around her waist. She yelped in anger, but in a second found herself gagged and bound with a bag over her head.

_Here we go again, _thought Roxanne, mentally sighing.

…

Megamind smiled his most evil smile, as Minion finished strapping Roxanne up to her harness.

"That's perfect Minion," he said grinning. Then, looking at Roxanne with the bag over her head. "Are you comfortable Miss Ritchie?"

Roxanne made a few muffled noises.

"Oh yes! I forgot, we gagged that sissy mouth of yours!" He laughed evilly.

"I think you mean sassy, sir," said Minion, tightening the line.

"Yes! Sassy," replied Megamind quickly, covering his mistake by being extra dramatic.

Roxanne's head rolled back a little, and Megamind wondered if she was rolling her eyes.

"And now, Minion, if you'd be so very kind to remove Miss Ritchie's fetching headgear!" cackled Megamind.

With a flourish, Minion pulled the bag off of Roxanne's head. Roxanne looked down quickly and blinked in surprise at what was below her.

Glass covered a tank full of… sharks.

So that's what the weights on her ankles were for.

Megamind cackled wickedly again and walked slowly towards Roxanne, his lips curved. "Scared?" he asked softly, quirking an eyebrow at her.

Roxanne gave a muffled answer. Megamind's shoulders slumped.

"I guess I didn't think the gag thing through," he muttered. With a sigh, he pulled Roxanne's gag down. "Now, Roxanne Ritchie, scream your terror!"

Roxanne stuck her tongue out, disgusted. "That gag tastes like dirt," she said, her voice cracking.

Megamind rolled his head back in exasperation. "You're not screaming in terror of the sharks?"

Roxanne glanced below her. "Well, I think their a little cliché, but maybe that's just me."

"HA!" yelped Megamind. "We've got her exactly where we want her!"

He shoved the gag back in Roxanne's mouth and skipped off the glass surface. "Lift, Minion!"

Minion quickly played with some dials, and the ropes that had Roxanne secured began to lift. Megamind quickly pushed a button, and the glass opened up smoothly.

"Mwahahahahahaha!" Megamind laughed. Turning around, he reached for his microphone again.

Roxanne rolled her eyes.

"Metro Man!" cried Megamind dramatically. "I'm sure that by now you're well aware that I've taken over the aquarium, but were you aware that I've also taken…" he paused for dramatic emphasis… "Roxanne Ritchie?"

Roxanne sighed. She sensed that this was going to be a pretty regular thing.

"If you want her back," he laughed, low and evil. "You'll have to come and-"

_Crash_.

"That was fast," muttered Megamind in surprise as Metro Man sped through the roof.

"Megamind," he said glaring.

"That's right, Metro Man!" cackled Megamind. "Welcome, Metro Man! To your doom!"

Metro Man laughed. "Sorry Megamind, but good is like a mountain! It is never doomed!"

"On the contrary, the mountain of good is doomed when it tries to stand against the steady erosion of evil!"

"Erosion only works over long periods of time, thus-"

There was a muffled sound from Roxanne and both turned to look at her.

"Right," said Megamind quickly, "Minion, code, drop the line!"

Roxanne gasped, breathing in the taste of the dirty cloth in her mouth, as she went flying towards the sharks below her, but before she could even reach the water, she saw Metro Man soaring toward her.

Roxanne braced herself to reach the water, then heard a splash. She was jerked back before she even reached the water. She opened her eyes and looked down at where Metro Man was trapped beneath the glass… with the sharks.

"Ha!" yelled Megamind, jumping excitedly. "Bullet proof glass Metro Man!"

Metro Man banged against the glass. For a moment, the sharks had seemed surprised by the new addition to the tank. However, they were now swimming quickly toward him, looking angry. Roxanne began struggling against her bonds. This wouldn't end well.

"Minion!" laughed Megamind. "We're actually going to win!"

"It certainly looks that way sir," replied Minion, sounding under-enthusiastic. Megamind seemed not to hear his sarcasm.

"Finally! Metrocity will be mine!" With a cackle, Megamind turned, throwing his arms wide.

There was a loud crash. Roxanne flinched as the glass went flying and Metro Man shot out of the water, holding a shark by the fin.

"It's Metro City, Megamind," Metroman said, and he tossed the shark at Megamind.

"Gah!" yelped Megamind, turning and jumping out of the way. The shark landed a few feet from him and began snapping at him.

"Minion!" screamed Megamind. Roxanne laughed through her gag.

Metro Man flew toward her and quickly set to getting her out of her binds, starting with her gag.

"Thanks," said Roxanne, still giggling a little.

"No problem Roxy," replied Metro Man, grinning.

Below, Minion was grabbing his boss.

"Minion," said Megamind, as the two of them flew off with Minion's helicopter. "Cliché doesn't mean terrifying, does it?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** So long! I apologize for that, it just kept going and I couldn't even control it. Also, this one gets a little more on the flirty side. Just so everyone is aware.

Thank you everyone for the reviews. Keep them coming please!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Megamind. I am just a really dorky fan who can't help but come up with tons of ideas long after the movie's been seen.

…

"Minion!" called Megamind, gingerly holding his new invention out in front of him with a pair of long metal tongs. "Minion, come quickly!"

"Yes sir!" Minion yelled back, clanking in.

"Minion! Excellent," Megamind said excitedly. "I need you to take this. It is my newest great work, and it will help me escape from jail when… IF our plan to defeat Metro Man is un-successful."

Minion gently took the invention, his eyes wide with awe. "It looks great sir, um, what is it?"

"The instruction manual is over there," replied Megamind, making a shooing motion to Minion. "Now go, I must make the finishing touches on the Death Robot. You can go do whatever it is that you need to do."

"Right sir," Minion said smiling. "Don't forget that we're kidnapping Roxanne at twenty two hundred hours!"

"Excellent, excellent," said Megamind happily, turning back to his tinkering. Then, he glanced up quickly. "Minion?"

"Ten o'clock sir!" Minion called back.

…

Roxanne kicked back her chair and stared, bored at her computer. She felt like she'd been working on her report for hours.

It was a good thing she was expecting Megamind any day now.

Being kidnapped had become a pretty regular routine for her. Not that she was complaining, on the inside at least. On the outside, she feigned boredom with Megamind, and played the thankful damsel with Metro Man.

However, on the inside, she enjoyed the kidnappings. It livened up her life. It had given her the ratings that other reporters only dreamed of. And the fact that now she was getting amazing stories on crime in the town and Leslie was getting the boring stories on the overpopulation of geese in the city… well that was a pretty little perk.

Not to mention the fact that, despite how much she pretended to hate it, there was something about Megamind's company that she actually liked. He was funny and smart, and she liked their banter. Above all, she knew that he must have liked having her around too. Because no matter how much he threatened, he refused to hurt a single hair on Roxanne's head.

Roxanne sighed, pulling herself from her thoughts and back to her report. Her cursor blinked on the screen. She shook her head and closed her computer. It was to late for this. She could finish in the morning.

Roxanne stretched and yawned as the clock on her wall chimed ten.

_Crash!_

With a gasp, Roxanne felt herself being grabbed around the waist by a giant metal hand. It lifted her out of her now broken window, and turned her to face the rest of it.

_Boring,_ Roxanne thought, seeing the rest of the giant robot. It was about five stories high, and completely black.

At the robot's chest, the metal started to roll up, revealing a glass window, behind which Megamind sat, fiddling with controls.

"Ah, Miss Ritchie," Megamind said with a gloating smile. His voice was magnified. "Surprised to see me?"

"Not really," Roxanne replied. "I was just thinking about you actually. You do know you're going to have to pay to replace my window, right?"

Megamind brought his hand to his giant forehead with a loud smack, then massaged it. "Evil super villains do NOT replace what they've broken."

"You are sooooo cliché," laughed Roxanne.

"That word! There's that word again!" exclaimed Megamind. "Would someone please just tell me what it means?"

"No one wants to hurt your precious feelings," replied Roxanne, trying to shrug, and failing in the hand of the giant robot.

Megamind groaned, then twiddled a few more devices.

"Fine, whatever, see if I care," muttered Megamind. The Robot began to move, walking down the streets and breaking buildings carelessly.

Roxanne rolled her eyes, realizing that no one was out and about at this time. Megamind had terrible timing, really. They would probably be here all night waiting for Metro Man.

Megamind seemed to have noticed this, as he was once again twiddling some dials, bringing the hand closer to his window. Then, the window slid open, and the robot hand tossed Roxanne into the control box.

Roxanne shook her head, feeling dizzy, and looked up at Megamind who had his back turned.

She smiled slightly. Maybe today was the day that the damsel got to save herself.

She got ready to jump on Megamind and start using any fighting skills she had against the blue villain. She jumped forward-

"Ah-ah-ah, Miss Ritchie," said Megamind turning to face her just as she bounced backward. "Invisible force field. Good idea, isn't it?"

Roxanne reached forward and touched a cool surface, then turned to the side, and found the same. It was all around her.

"Ugh!" Roxanne moaned in frustration, crossing her arms.

Megamind's lips turned up in an evil grin. "And who's the evil genius?" he asked cupping a hand around his ear as though waiting for his answer.

"I am so not answering that," muttered Roxanne.

"Roxanne, Roxanne, Roxanne," said Megamind shaking his head. "When will you just admit that I am the most genius and dastardly handsome person you know?"

"Why are we talking about this?" asked Roxanne, trying not to think of him as being ugh… flirtatious. "Shouldn't we be getting to the part where Metro Man kicks your butt?"

"HA!" yelped Megamind. "That's what you think! However this time, oh this time, I shall triumph!"

"Yeah, yeah, you still haven't told me why we're not getting to that part."

"We have some time," replied Megamind, his lips curling in a playful grin as he gestured outside at the dark surroundings.

Roxanne narrowed her eyes at him. "Ok," she said, a new idea popping into her head. "Say I was to say that you were the most genius and dastardly handsome person I know. Would you let me out of my cage?"

"Um, no," replied Megamind, quickly spinning around so that his cape spun around him. "But, nice try."

Roxanne sighed and slid down the back of her invisible container. It was going to be a long night.

…

It seemed as though Roxanne had gotten bored of banter. She had finally said. "All right, I need to sleep now, wake me up when Metro Man gets here," and curled up on the floor of her cell.

Now, Megamind watched as her small chest rose and fell, as different stages of sleep crossed her peaceful face.

He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. He didn't understand it, but there was just something about Roxanne that made him smile.

There was a knock on his window, and somehow, Megamind didn't register this as strange for a moment. Then, he realized, and turned dramatically.

"Metro Man!" he cried loudly.

"Megamind," replied Metro Man, lowering his eyebrows. "You give up now, and we might just be able to come to some sort of civil agreement. Say, a year less in prison?"

"Ha!" laughed Megamind. "Evil never gives up!"

"And that's why they always lose when in the face of good!"

"The face of good is about to get punched!" laughed Megamind, hitting a button.

The giant robotic arm swung up and hit Metro Man up in the air. Then, he zoomed back and punched the giant robot backward. Megamind flew back, as well as Roxanne, who woke with an "OW!"

"You fiend!" cried Metro Man, zooming closer to the window and squinting in. "You've taken Roxanne!"

"That's right Metro Man," laughed Megamind, pulling himself up off the floor. "And by trying to hurt me, you'll only hurt her!"

"Good Lord! Try not to panic Roxi! I'll figure out something!" Metro Man zoomed back and flew around the robot thoughtfully.

"I'm less worried about this loser than I am about whip lash," muttered Roxi, rubbing her neck.

Megamind turned and covered his microphone. "You know, if you acted a little more terrified, I certainly wouldn't complain."

"Not terrified," replied Roxanne. "A little perturbed that I go such a rude awakening, but not terrified."

The robot was rocked again before Megamind could come up with a biting comeback. He turned back to Metro Man who was circling the Robot, glaring.

Megamind laughed evilly. "I've finally got you trapped haven't I?" he said laughing. "You can't hurt me unless you're willing to hurt you precious _girlfriend_." He made a gagging face.

"Seriously," groaned Roxanne. "Can't I be known as more than just Metro Man's girlfriend?"

"Quake in fear Metro Man!" laughed Megamind, ignoring Roxanne. "You and Metrosity are going down!"

"Metro City!" yelled Roxanne and Metro Man at the same time, as Metro Man zoomed down and punched the window.

"Ha Ha HA!" laughed Megamind. "Bullet proof glass, AND an invisible force field. What now Metro Man?"

Metro Man zoomed down and punched the glass angrily again.

Megamind leered at Metro Man as he hit another button and the robot grabbed Metro Man and threw him brutally to the ground.

"Um, could we maybe hurry," called Roxanne to Metro Man, glancing at the convenient digital clock on Megamind's control board. "I'd really like to get to work on time today."

"Evil knows no time, Ritchie!" yelled Megamind over his shoulder, turning his robot to look at his surroundings. "Where did he go?"

Roxanne's eyes widened as she noticed the floor beginning to glow. A line of glowing heat began to glow near Megamind's feet.

_Distraction_ thought Roxanne quickly. "Oh, um, Megamind," she said, making her voice a coy purr.

Megamind turned to her in surprise. "Yes?" he asked looking confused.

"When was the last time that I mentioned how amazingly handsome and charismatic you were?" she asked, cocking one of her eyebrows and smiling flirtatiously.

Megamind's jaw dropped. "You've, um, never mentioned that."

The glowing square in the floor was starting to widen.

"Well, maybe I should," purred Roxanne. "After all you're so smart. I find that so… attractive…" she paused trying not to laugh, or gag, whichever came first.

"Well… thank you," Megamind said, still stumbling to regain his composure.

_Bang!_

A piece of the floor flew upward and Metro Man soared through it, grinning. Megamind spun around in surprise.

"Justice, on the other hand, is on a schedule!" Metro Man cried, grabbing Megamind by his collar.

"Yeah, you're a little late on that comeback Metro Man," Roxanne sighed.

Metro Man seemed to ignore her. With super speed, he cuffed Megamind, ripped up the robot's control board, grabbed Roxanne, and flew the two of them out of the robot.

Metro Man dropped Megamind among a group of police officers, then flew Roxanne off into the sunset. As everyone cheered for Metro Man, Roxanne couldn't help but feel pleased. She had _seduced_ Megamind into losing. Man, she was good.

…

Megamind watched Metro Man fly off with Roxanne.

"Temptress," he growled under his breath, and with that, he was stuffed into a police car.


	4. Chapter 4

"Warden!" called Megamind suddenly, his voice slightly muffled through the glass on the door of his cell. The Warden stepped cautiously toward the door and crossed his arms, looking sternly at Megamind.

"What is it, Megamind?" he asked.

"Has anyone ever told you that your head is to small for your body?" asked Megamind, laughing.

"Has anyone ever told you to shut up while you're in jail for 39 life sentences?"

"You're such a… snooze," said Megamind, his lips turning up in an evil smile.

"Yeah, yeah," said the Warden boredly. "Just go back to thinking about how miserable you are."

"For now," said Megamind under his breath, a low, evil laugh slipping out of his mouth.

…

"Again?" asked Roxanne.

"Again, Miss Ritchie," replied Mr. Winter, Roxanne's boss.

"I wish they'd get some better security at that place," mumbled Roxanne. "All right, I'll go cover Megamind's latest breakout. But if I get kidnapped-"

"Don't worry, you'll still get paid after Metro Man rescues you," replied Mr. Winter, pushing Roxanne out of his office.

…

Hal situated his camera as Roxanne posed outside of the Metro City prison, and fixed a serious look on her face. She situated her headset and finally heard…

"And now, breaking news. Megamind has once again broken out of prison. We now go to Roxanne Ritchie on the scene."

"Thanks Dave," said Roxanne quickly to the anchor. "Yes, Megamind, the villian we all fear, has once again made a break from Metro City prison. Although we have not been allowed inside the premises, we did manage to get a few words from a source who wishes to remain anonymous. He explained that they were all going about their business, when everyone suddenly just fell asleep. When they woke up, the fist place they checked was Megamind's cell, which was, in fact empty.

"How did he do it? Your guess is as good as mine Metro City. If he had used sleeping gas, how was he not affected?

"Then, we must wonder, what are his plans next? All we can do now, is wait, and wonder."

"Thank you Roxanne," said Dave into the headset. Roxanne nodded to the camera, and held her pose until Hal sent her a thumbs up.

"All right, lets blow this place," muttered Roxanne. "I know it's pretty much the most unlikely place for Megamind to kidnap me, but it still gives me the heebie jeebies."

"Place blown, Roxi," replied Hal, grinning. "I'll just go load up the stuff, and you can hop in shot-" Hsl fell to the ground quiet suddenly, snoring.

"Hal?" yelped Roxanne, rushing toward him. "Ah, crap," she said, realizing to late, as she was hit suddenly with sleep.

…

"I'm a genius Minion!" cackled Megamind, as they returned to their new secret lair.

"Indeed, sir," replied Minion, carrying Roxanne in over his shoulder. "There's no evil genius like you sir."

"And no minion like you Minion!" cried Megamind happily. "Oh put Ritchie in her spot, there are a few extra things I have to work out."

Megamind went to work with his computers quickly making sure that everything looked menacingly ready as Roxanne began stirring.

"Sir," whispered Minion.

"Oh," said Megamind excitedly. "Places Minion."

Megamind rushed to sit in his high backed chair.

Minion reached over and pulled the potato sack (a new addition) off of Roxanne's head.

Megamind waited a moment, as Roxanne started to wake up. She made a bit of a gagging noise. Megamind opened his mouth to speak.

"The bag's a new addition," said Roxanne, before Megamind could even say anything.

Megamind spun his chair around. "You just interrupted me."

"Not technically," replied Roxanne. "You weren't talking yet."

"No," snapped Megamind, "but you of all people should know that the villain is supposed to start the conversation with a grand 'Welcome!' or 'We meet again!'"

"Boring and predictable," yawned Roxanne.

"Cliché?" asked Megamind sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"So you finally bought a dictionary!" Roxanne said excitedly.

"Miss Ritchie, villains don't buy anything," Megamind replied, sounding like a teacher explaining a difficult idea to a student. "I _stole_ a dictionary."

"Oh, excuse me," replied Roxanne boredly. "Anyway, the bag's a new edition. I assume you bought it so that I wouldn't be able to see where we were going, because it's not totally obvious that we're in the abandoned tire factory."

"What?" spluttered Megamind. "I… don't know what you're talking about."

Roxanne rolled her eyes, as Megamind turned away, trying to look busy.

"You look a little tense," said Roxanne softly. Megamind jumped a little at her voice. "If you untied me, I could give you a back rub."

"Oh no, Ritchie," said Megamind, turning back to her. "I won't be falling for your woman wiles again."

Roxanne smirked. "All right. I'll be quiet now."

"Excellent, I'm very busy," snapped Megamind, turning back to his computers.

Roxanne tugged a little on her ropes, disappointed to find them tied tight. For a while, she was quiet, then she finally sighed in boredom.

"What exactly are you doing over there?" she asked. "Shouldn't we be getting to the part where you bring out some dumb looking torture device, reveal part of your evil plot to me, then call Metro Man to 'lure him to his doom,' or something?"

"HA!" yelled Megamind, turning back to Roxanne with a sinister grin. "It looks as though you're going to be disappointed Ritchie, because this time, I've switched things up!"

"What?" Roxanne asked, raising one of her eyebrows.

"Oho, yes, Miss Ritchie," said Megamind in a low voice, placing his fingertips together and sauntering towards where she was tied up. "You remember, perhaps, when you asked in your report just how exactly I put all the guards to sleep without affecting myself."

"Yeah," replied Roxanne, leaning away from Megamind who was uncomfortably close.

"Well," Megamind snickered, reaching into his pocket. "The answer is this!"

He held up a small device in the shape of a square. "It is my latest, evilest, most genius invention!" He laughed his evil laugh. "It gives off a wave, if you will, which affects the inner ear, causing the body to sleep!"

Roxanne stared at Megamind for a long moment then said, "that's actually… kind of amazing."

"Finally!" cried Megamind tossing up his hands. "Someone recognizes my genius."

"Yeah, yeah, don't let your head get any bigger," snapped Roxanne.

"All right, all right," muttered Megamind, resuming his sinister pose over Roxanne.

"There's just a couple things I don't get," said Roxanne, her reporting powers switching on. "One, how do you manage to stay untouched by the waves."

Megamind laughed. "You ask the simplest questions sometimes, Miss Ritchie," he said, starting to really get into his bragging. "It's silly really, that such a genius plot has such a simple escape routee."

"Route, sir, you don't pronounce the e at the end," corrected Minion.

"Yes, thank you Minion," said Megamind dramatically. "Anyway, as I was saying, it's really quiet simple."

Roxanne shook her head. "Earplugs. Of course."

"Yes! Ear- wait what?"

"Isn't that right?" Roxanne asked watching Megamind who had held up his finger dramatically as though he was making a point, then slumped in sheer disappointment, for some reason.

"Well, yes, but how did you know?" asked Megamind looking dispirited.

"I'd like to think I fairly intelligent," Roxanne replied sarcastically.

"Fine, yes, you are, indeed, smarter than the average Metrosity citizen," muttered Megamind. "But neither you, nor Metro Man will be able to stop me when I press this button!" he said, back to his overly sensational antics.

"Ah yes," said Roxanne looking a the large button. "What does the big red button do, Megamind?" she asked, loading the question with as much sarcasm as possible.

"I've place one of my devices a top Metro tower, which will pick up the signal of my sleeping waves and send it all over the city! Everyone will be asleep, then I will take control of Metrosity!" Megamind curled his hands above his head and tipped his head back in a bout of evil laughter.

Roxanne didn't say anything, not wanting to let on that for the first time, she was actually a little frightened of Megamind. Instead, she took a deep breath and thought of a way to sway the subject away from the whole city falling asleep.

"Ok then, if you're just going to make everyone fall asleep, why did you kidnap me? You didn't need to lure Metro Man here, he'll just fall asleep like the rest of Metro City, won't he?"

Megamind looked at her in surprise. "Well yes. You actually really have nothing to do with this plan at all."

If Roxanne had a free hand, she would have smacked herself in the head with it. "So why did you kidnap me?"

Megamind shrugged. "Force of habit, I guess."

Roxanne just stared at him for a moment. "That's… the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

Megamind groaned. "I should have kept the gag. You're talking constantly gets on my nerves."

"Well your kidnapping me constantly gets on my nerves, ever thought of that?" snapped Roxanne.

"You're the worst captive ever! You never scream-"

"Because you're not scary!"

"You're sassy-"

"I guess it's just in my nature."

"And your prettiness always distracts me!" finished Megamind triumphantly. Then his two blue hands flew up to his mouth in horror.

"Well then- what?" asked Roxanne in surprise.

"Nothing! Forget I ever said that! Minion! Minion! Where is the forget-me-stick?" He cried in a panic.

Roxanne merely sat in her chair, mouth hanging open in surprise.

"I can't find it sir!" Minion called.

"All right, all right," said Megamind soothingly to himself. "Let's see, how do I handle this?"

There was a crash and Metro Man flew through the roof.

Roxanne assumed that there was some usual banter, but she found herself completely unable to hear any of it. Something about Metro Man hearing Megamind's dire plot with his super hearing, had smashed his device and would now save Roxanne and all of Metro City.

Finally, Metro Man laser beamed the ropes off of Roxanne and flew her off. She looked back at Megamind for a split second. His big green eyes were opened wide and seemed to plead: _don't say a word!_

She knew for sure that she wouldn't.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Wow, I went from getting maybe like 8 reviews per chapter to about 20. I just want to say THANK YOU! You guys ROCK so much, it made me so super happy. So happy, in fact, that I decided to get straight to work on my next chapter. :D See, You guys have an influence on what I do! That's how great your reviews are. So keep it up, please and thank you.

**Disclaimer:** Megamind is an awesome movie, but unfortunately does not belong to me.

…

"Welcome to my secret hideout," said Metro Man grandly, as he lead Roxanne through the door of an old schoolhouse. The door opened up to a huge room filled with capes, awards, and newspaper clippings with Metro Man kicking Megamind's butt.

Even though she wasn't going to say it, Roxanne couldn't help but think that Metro Man's shrine to himself was a little show off-ish.

"It's great!" she said finally, realizing that Metro Man was waiting for her to say something.

"Yes, I am aren't I?" he said, with a hearty laugh. Roxanne had to work not to roll her eyes.

It was interesting to her, as she spent more time with Metro Man, how actually alike him and Megamind were, even though they'd never admit it. They were both boastful and self-centered, both constantly thinking of new ways to get back at the other. And they both found her attractive.

Roxanne shook away that thought. It had been almost a week since Megamind had last kidnapped her (a record for him) and he had let it slip that he thought she was pretty. She hadn't told a soul, and didn't think she ever would. For some reason, she didn't want anyone to know, either to save herself embarrassment, or to save Megamind embarrassment.

"Listen," said Metro Man, interrupting Roxanne's thoughts. She turned back to him to see him holding up one finger with her eyes closed. "From here, I can hear everything happening in the city. Just beautiful."

"Great," said Roxanne, feeling uncomfortable. More boasting then.

"I'm sorry Roxi," laughed Metro Man. "There I go just talking about me again. What do you want to talk about?"

Roxanne honestly wasn't extremely interested in talking about anything at the moment. She'd been less than reluctant to agree to going to Metro Man's secret lair. She felt like he was thinking it was some sort of way to "take their relationship to the next level" or something. However, the reporter in her was dying to see what his secret lair was like, so she'd agreed after all.

Roxanne was saved from having to say anything by the beep of her cell phone. She pulled it out and glanced at her text.

"Crap, I have to go," she said, staring at the text. "Looks like there's a bank robbery I have to cover. You might want to go too."

Metro Man was already flying toward her. He scooped her up and flew the both of them out of the old school house.

…

Roxanne stumbled tiredly into her apartment, dropping her keys on the kitchen counter as she passed.

The bank robbery had taken hours. The robber had strapped explosives to his captives, making it exceedingly difficult for Metro Man to sweep in and do his thing. Of course, he'd eventually been able to use his super speed to grab the detonator from the perpetrator, at which point the police had jumped in and helped him out.

Roxanne didn't even bother getting undressed. She tossed her flats off of her feet and collapsed into bed in her slacks.

It took her a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She felt as though she could just fall asleep immediately, however, her eyes stayed open and scanned the room once. She closed her eyes, then they snapped open again in a flash.

A figure stood in the shadows, completely still. Roxanne reached out and grabbed the first thing she found on her dresser. It was a fairly heavy book, which was a good thing.

"All right, I've seen you, come out," she called to the figure. For some reason she was un-surprised when the figure who stepped out had a huge head and blue skin.

Roxanne scooted back as quickly as she could and held her book higher.

"Do we have to go through this again?" she asked, annoyed. "When you kidnap me late at night, it takes longer for your show down with Metro Man. Can't you just come back in the morning or something?"

Megamind mumbled something, and Roxanne really noticed him for the first time. His shoulders were slumped and his head was hanging slightly. He didn't have some dramatic pose, wasn't holding up some devious weapon. He looked… sheepish.

"What was that?" Roxanne asked curiously, lowering her book slightly.

Megamind sighed in frustration. "I said 'I didn't come to kidnap you.'"

Roxanne raised her eyebrows. Could it be a trap? "Ok, so let's say I actually believe you," she replied, doubtfully. "Why are you here, if not to kidnap me?"

Megamind's shoulders still slumped. "I… um… wanted to talk to you."

_Definitely a trap,_ Roxanne thought, holding her book higher once more. "Ok, fine. About what?"

Megamind sucked on his bottom lip looking truly and honestly… vulnerable. Roxanne had never seen him like this before. He looked almost cute.

"You haven't told anyone, about the, well about what I said, you know," he fumbled and finally managed to get out.

Roxanne was so surprised, that she finally let her arms drop, and placed the book aside. Her arms were getting tired anyway.

"Seriously?" she asked. "That's what you snuck into my apartment for?"

Megamind blinked. "Well, yes."

"Oh my gosh," Roxanne said crossing her arms. "If you must know, no I haven't. It's a little embarrassing for me too."

"Oh good," sighed Megamind. He stood up quickly again, his dramatic attitude back as usual. "After all, I certainly didn't mean it."

Roxanne felt surprisingly stung by these words. So he didn't think she was pretty? Or was he just lying?

Megamind was turning, looking ready to leave. "Wait," said Roxanne quickly, brushing a bang out of her face in annoyance. "So you don't think I'm pretty?" Why on earth would she possibly be so peeved by him saying that?

"No!" replied Megamind to quickly.

Roxanne smirked. "It all makes sense now," she laughed. "I mean, it's not like I didn't see it before, after all you kidnap me all the time. I guess it was obvious that you were attracted to me."

"Stop it!" cried Megamind, looking horrified.

"It's sort of funny, really," Roxanne laughed. "The evil villain who seems to have no compassion, having a crush on one of his captives."

"There is no crush!" yelped Megamind. "All right. So maybe you have stunning eyes and pretty hair." Roxanne lifted her eyebrows in surprise. She was pretty certain that no one had ever said that to her. "That doesn't mean I like you or something! You're still just the kidnap-ee. We are not friends."

Roxanne crossed her arms, putting on a fake serious face, and nodded her head sharply. "Right."

"And don't tell anyone I said all that stuff about you being pretty," said Megamind, threateningly. "That annoying pretty boy boyfriend of yours already has enough reasons to come after me." He said it very darkly, looking slightly bitter.

Roxanne tilted her head. It was strange. She seemed to be seeing an entirely different side of Megamind. "Wow, it's like you actually have feelings," she said softly, surprising even herself with her gentle tone.

Megamind looked down at his feet and shuffled them. "Yeah, well don't tell anyone that either."

Roxanne shook her head sadly. "Don't tell anyone that you actually might have a heart?" Megamind just nodded in response. "Right. I'll be sure to hide the best thing about you."

Then, she surprised herself with her daring. She slid off of her bed and walked up to Megamind, then reached out and patted him on the arm, making him look up in surprise. His skin was very smooth and cool. "It's not like you would actually want someone to like you or something."

Megamind smirked and stood up taller, getting back his old, boastful self. "A dastardly handsome master of all villainy doesn't need people to like him."

_Ah, _Roxanne thought to herself,_ and that conversation got him absolutely nowhere._

Megamind turned and stalked toward the door and Roxanne sat on the edge of her bed, watching him go. "Oh, Megamind," she called, as he started to walk out of her bedroom. He stopped and turned back to her. "Business as usual tomorrow."

His smirk grew. "See you tomorrow."

…

"This is Roxanne Ritchie, signing off," said Roxanne to the camera. "All right, get that piece in quick Hal," she said, packing up her microphone, and helping Hal with his camera.

"Right away, Roxi," he said, grinning. "Hey, do you want a ride back to the station?"

"No thanks, Hal," Roxanne replied quickly. "I think I'll walk." He turned away looking disappointed. "Besides," she added under her breath, "I'm about to get kidnapped."

Two brain bots shot out of the sky straight toward Roxanne, and grabbed both her arms. She gave a little gasp as they shot her up into the sky. Then one held out a familiar canister, and the world went black as usual.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** More thanks to my awesome reviewers. I appreciate you all so much. Also thanks to everyone who has favorited and subscribed. You're all wonderful.

Yes, this is my third chapter in three days, but I will warn you all not to get to used to it. I'm unfortunately usually a pretty slow writer, I've just had a lot of time, and a lot of motivation. I don't want anyone to be to disappointed if I go back to only updating once a week.

One more thing, yes I did up the rating. This chapter is traveling toward being more on the adult side, and it might go that way in later chapters too. Just a warning.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Megamind, or any of the movies characters. Nor do I own The Twilight Zone, or Cosmo Magazine. I only wish. Maybe then I could be on vacation in Mexico with all my riches.

…

Roxanne slid deeper into her hot bathwater, letting her pomegranate bubble bath wash over her. It was great to relax. The past week had been stressful. Being kidnapped, work, being kidnapped, keeping up a social image with her "boyfriend", and being kidnapped had taken up the majority of her life that past week. She was exhausted, and she'd decided to start off her Saturday off with a soothing bath.

She sighed happily. Already she felt a hundred times better.

After a long while, Roxanne finally stepped out of the bath tub and wrapped a towel around herself, then started out the door and into her bedroom.

Roxanne stood in front of her mirror, turning her head this way and that, contemplating if she wanted to spend her time putting on make up to go out, or if it was going to be one of those sweats days where she stayed in front of her television all day. She had just started reaching for her comb when her bedroom door flew open, and Megamind burst through it, his de-hydrator gun waving wildly.

It took about a second for Roxanne to register what was happening before she let out a shriek. Megamind swiveled his head to stare at her, then jumped back.

"Oh my gosh," he said turning and covering his eyes. "This is a terribly awkward situation."

"You think?" shrieked Roxanne, pulling her towel tighter. "I'm wearing a towel!"

"Right, well, how am I expected to know when you are dressed or not," snapped Megamind.

"Please, dear Lord, tell me you are not trying to make this my fault," groaned Roxanne. She tossed her hairbrush, conveniently still in her hand, at Megamind's bulbous head. "You are the one trying to kidnap me, and you have the gall to be upset that I'm not dressed?"

_Hardly upset,_ Megamind thought, but he did not voice his opinions, merely rubbed the spot where the hairbrush had hit his head.

"Ok, I'm… sorry," Megamind muttered, saying the word with great hesitation, as though it was very unfamiliar on his lips. "Perhaps you could put on some clothes, and then I will kidnap you. I'm rather fond of that purple shirt with the belt."

"Oh no," snapped Roxanne. "I was going to have a wonderful Saturday _off_. Don't you get that? I was hoping to go for a walk in the park, maybe come home and watch re-runs of The Twilight Zone, and then crack open my new tub of chocolate frosting before going to bed, and you are not going to ruin that for me Megamind."

Megamind was so shocked that he turned back to look at her, immediately regretting this decision. Her towel was cracked just in the slightest, revealing more of her leg than he'd certainly ever seen. He wondered for just a brief second how much Metro Man might have seen of that leg, and felt jealous, then ashamed for feeling jealous, then ashamed that he'd let his mind wander so much just because of a small sliver of skin.

Roxanne seemed to have noticed this as well. She snapped her fingers.

"Eyes are up here, Megamind," she growled. He looked up quickly.

"Oh, wow, I'm sorry again," he said. "And just so you know, apologizing twice in one day, and to the same person is probably a new record."

"That's great," snapped Roxanne, still in a raging fit and still clutching her towel tightly to her. "How about you go brag about your new record to Minion, and leave me alone for the day?"

"Unfortunately, that does not fit into my plans-" Megamind began, but Roxanne cut him off.

"I don't care about your plans! They never work anyway! You're just to brainless and self-centered to give up!"

Megamind lowered his eyes to the floor, looking deflated. For a moment, Roxanne breathed heavily, enjoying her triumph, then, of course, she deflated as well. Her shoulders slumped, and she tilted her head back. She said a lot of not very nice things to Megamind, but never had been so blunt and mean before. And she'd certainly never said anything that made him look so hurt.

She gave a great sigh. "Ok, that was pretty ruthless," she muttered. "You probably didn't deserve me being so harsh."

Megamind just shook his head. "I don't need the pity, Roxanne. Villains are to good for anyone to pity," he replied, taking a stab at getting back his grand self. It didn't work.

"It's not pity, I'm honestly very sorry about being so mean," Roxanne replied with a sigh. "Look, I'll make it up to you, huh? I'll go get dressed, and come quietly."

"Well," spluttered Megamind. "Now it's all been ruined." He crossed his arms like a pouting child. Roxanne bit her lips together to keep from giggling.

"I'm sorry that my plans got in the way of your plans," she said, when she finally felt the urge to laugh die off. "And I'm very sorry that I finally blew and yelled at you, although we both have to admit, it's probably been a long time coming." Megamind's arms were still crossed angrily. "You sure I can't make it up to you?"

"No!" snapped Megamind, then he turned and stomped out of the room.

Roxanne just shook her head after the blue villain, then quickly rushed to her closet, determined not to let anyone else catch her in a towel. She sifted through her clothes, tossing a pair of jeans on her bed, then grabbing a light green shirt. She turned to put it with her jeans, then looked at it again. It was a long moment that she stared at it, before finally placing it back on her hanger and pulling out her dark purple shirt with a thin black belt on it. Despite the fact that she hid it, most of the time even from herself, she actually kind of cared what Megamind thought about her.

_Besides,_ she thought, trying to cast her thoughts away from him, _green washes me out._

…

It was a beautiful day, with a light blue sky and only a few wispy clouds. Roxanne had sat herself underneath the shade of a large oak tree with a Cosmo magazine. A light breeze blew, and in the background, there was the sound of children laughing.

Roxanne realized that she should have been completely content.

On the contrary, she was bored. As she flipped through pages of the latest fashion, she couldn't help wondering what she would be doing if she had let herself be kidnapped after all. She supposed she'd be throwing annoying comebacks at Megamind, and laughing at the flame throwers he might have surrounding her.

She groaned and tipped her head back against the giant oak. It was strange, she couldn't seem to figure out where her and Megamind stood. He'd said, a few times in fact, that she was pretty. And, even though it slightly disgusted her, she thought he was pretty good looking himself. Sure, he had blue skin and a large head, but the more she looked at him, the more used to it she got. She had never disliked anyone else for having different skin, had she? Why should blue be any different?

And of course, he had eyes that could captivate anyone. She sometimes tried to make sure that she looked directly in his eyes, just so she could take a mental picture of them. They were clear and beautiful, and she'd being lying if she told someone she didn't think so.

Of course, Megamind had made it clear that the two of them were not, in fact, friends. Or anything else. However, she knew he enjoyed kidnapping her as much as she enjoyed being kidnapped. It livened up her day, and she suspected it livened up his as well. She had the idea that sometimes he got lonely, and actually enjoyed having someone around who would tell him what was what, occasionally be flirtatious, and sometimes even be interested in his work.

She groaned again and squeezed her eyes shut. It was so wrong of her to think of Megamind in any way other than that of her captor, the bad guy to be looked down on, a cockroach on the face of the planet. He wreaked havoc, and enjoyed being evil. There was just no way that the could, or should be friends anyway.

With a great intake of breath, Roxanne sat herself up straighter, and forced herself to stare down at the article about models and anorexia. She found herself relaxing as she read, dispelling all her thoughts about Megamind. She accepted the fact that she was extremely bored, and continued to read.

Finally, she got up, brushed the grass from her legs and started walking. Suddenly, from behind a tree, a giant metal hand reached out, and sprayed her with knock-out spray.

Roxanne was smiling happily as she collapsed.

…

Roxanne woke up, feeling very uncomfortable. Being tied to a chair can do that to you. She found that her legs were tied to the chair legs, and a rope bound her across her stomach like a seat belt to the chair. However, her arms were, for the first time, unbound.

The bag over her head, however, still smelled like potatoes.

She shook her head a little, and cleared her throat, wanting to let Megamind know that she was awake. She heard the usual familiar "oh!"s and scramblings as Megamind made his way for his spinning chair, and the familiar clomp clomp of Minions robotic feet as he situated himself beside her.

Minion pulled the bag off her head and she pulled in a long breath, ready to have her usual pre-rescue argument with Megamind. However, everything she'd been planning to say left her mind as her eyes were drawn up to Megamind's big screen TV which was playing a black and white show opening and the familiar music of The Twilight Zone.

"So sorry we still had to interrupt all your grand plans," said Megamind, turning to face Roxanne with a glare. "I thought I'd make things a little more comfortable for you."

Roxanne just stared dumbfounded and slack jawed at Megamind, unable to think of any response. "Um-"

"No need to thank me!" said Megamind dramatically. "I already had the entire box set on hand. I mean, a good quarter of the episodes are about aliens from another planet, so I do in fact enjoy this odd earth show."

"Well um," Roxanne said, still confused. "I guess I never assumed we shared any sort of likes."

"Yes, yes," muttered Megamind. "Let's not get all touchy feely here. Just watch you silly television show."

Roxanne hid her smile from Megamind as Minion clomped out of the shadows, holding a plate with a piece of chocolate cake on it.

"And we," Minion stopped and glanced at Megamind, "I made this for you. Megamind said you just wanted frosting, but I didn't think that made sense."

Roxanne closed her eyes briefly and rubbed them, then opened them once more to see that she was not, in fact, dreaming.

"I was just telling you what she said," Megamind muttered quickly.

"It's actually one of those weird earth women things," Roxanne said quickly. "But this cake is great. Really Minion, thanks!"

Minion smiled his toothy fish smile and placed the plate in Roxanne's hand. She tried the cake, which was actually quite wonderful, while glancing at the television.

"So, no bragging about your evil plan this time?" asked Roxanne curiously.

"I'm just putting the final touched on," replied Megamind dramatically. "Quake in fear Roxanne Ritchie, for while you are enjoying your cake and television show, Metro Museum is surrounded by my new prototype, the carni-bots!" He tossed his finger up in the air for dramatic emphasis.

"Huh," replied Roxanne, her attention dwindling and being drawn back to the television.

"Don't you want to know what a carni-bot is?" asked Megamind in a stage whisper.

"Well, I'm assuming their like some sort of 'carnivore robot,' something with super sharp teeth to scare the citizens," replied Roxanne, cutting another bite off her cake.

"Well… that's… correct," muttered Megamind.

"Thought so," grinned Roxanne.

"Anyway," Megamind said quickly, getting over his annoyance, "your precious Metro Man has to decide which is more important to him: Metro City, or Roxanne Ritchie, who is enduring torturous tortures!"

"But I'm-"

"Just play along please, Ritchie," snapped Megamind quickly.

Roxanne bit her lips together again to keep from laughing as Megamind grabbed up his microphone.

"Metro Man!" He yelled, his voice echoing all around. "I have Metro Museum surrounded. I have Roxanne Ritchie in my clutches."

Megamind glanced at Roxanne, who put her hand palm up and motioned her index finger in a "come hear" motion. Megamind came closer and Roxanne called into the microphone "Help, Metro Man!"

Megamind was so surprised, he almost dropped the microphone. Roxanne just grinned and shrugged at him, then turned her attention back to the TV.

"Right," said Megamind quickly into the mic. "There is proof that she is about to be destroyed with my torturous tortures." He shook his head a little trying to clear it, then brought back his over dramatic voice. "Choose Metro Man! Let Roxanne Ritchie be tortured, or let Metro Museum be destroyed!" He ended with a loud, evil laugh, then switched off the microphone and turned to Roxanne.

"What was that?" he asked, looking confused.

Roxanne shrugged. "Hey, you're being nice to me, I figured I'd repay the favor."

Megamind winced. "Bad guys aren't nice."

"Whatever," Roxanne said with a shrug. "Just remember that that was like, a once a year thing. Don't expect me to start acting like the damsel in distress because of today."

"As long as you don't ever say I'm nice again," said Megamind, folding his thin arms.

"Deal," replied Roxanne, licking off her fork. "How about another piece of that cake?"

…

**A/N: **Yep, another one. You guys may have noticed that I have left the rescue out of these past couple chapters. I'm not a huge fan of writing Metro Man, he doesn't really need much thought like Megamind and Roxanne do. There will be rescues in future chapters, but for a couple I feel that the actual kidnapping part is what is the best.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Wow, it's been a long time. Sorry about that, just busy with school and such. I hope I still have people who want to read my story. I just bought the movie, and after watching it, had to write a chapter. So hope you all enjoy!

…

Megamind happily walked into his secret lair, Minion behind him chatting eagerly.

"Phase one of your plan has already been completed sir," Minion said happily.

"Excellent, Minion," said Megamind, grinning at an empty space in front of him. He walked up to it and placed his hands out, finding them against a hard, smooth bars, rather than thin air. "I don't know why we don't use invisible things more often, they're so much fun!"

Minion grinned in agreement, not even mentioning that that was the reason that they had made an invisible car.

"Right then, back to today's evil plans," Megamind said quickly, spinning back around and beginning to circle his invisible cage. "What of Phase Two?"

"The brain bots are already on it, sir," replied Minion quickly.

"Excellent," Megamind said, adding an extra evil laugh for effect.

"In fact, I believe we have about 10 seconds until the package is delivered, sir," said Minion, looking thoughtfully at the large digital clock on the wall.

"What?" cried Megamind in surpise. "Minion, why don't you ever warn me about things like this?" He rushed to his high back chair and hopped into it, and it spun across the floor. He reached out as he reached the dashboard of switches that controlled his torture devices, and came to a halting stop, turning his back to the invisible cage behind him just as his ceiling opened up and two brain bots swooped in carrying a pajama clad figure with a bag over her head.

The brain bots dropped the figure directly into the invisible cage, and she gave a loud "oomph". Then one of them snatched the bag off her head and they both zoomed away as Roxanne Ritchie coughed in disgust.

"Ah Miss Ritchie," said Megamind, turning his chair and smiling sinisterly. "So nice of you to _drop in_."

"Oh, Gawd!" moaned Roxanne dragging out the o. "It is _way_ to early in the morning for you to start making puns. Seriously, I haven't even had my coffee yet."

Minion came stomping out of the shadows and pushed a cup of coffee through the invisible bars of the cage. "Carmel macchiato. It's your favorite."

"Thanks Minion," said Roxanne with a smile, taking the cup.

"Ugh!" groaned Megamind, his lanky blue arms flopping in annoyance. "Minion! How are we ever supposed to make her scared if you always give her snacks?"

"Since when were you trying to scare me?" asked Roxanne curiously, taking a sip of her coffee. She glanced at Minion, who shrugged innocently.

"Since… forever," snapped Megamind, at a loss.

"Uh-huh," replied Roxanne, sipping her coffee again. "So the giant pot of melted marshmallows…"

"Terrifying," sniffed Megamind haughtily.

"The mirror maze which you stole from a children's playground?"

"Horrific!"

"That time that you built a giant _teddy bear?_"

"That was an accident!" Megamind said, stomping his foot, looking like an angry child.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," replied Roxanne, her lips curling up in a coy smile.

"Besides this time really is terrifying," said Megamind, grinning happily. "I'm sure you're aware of what today is?"

Roxanne arched her eyebrows. "Friday?"

"Yes!" cried Megamind. "Today is Friday!"

"Ok…" Roxanne said, confused.

Megamind turned away from her and laughed evilly, rubbing his hands together. "Today, when people go out to work, they will be greeted by me!" He propped up a camera. "Every screen in the city will be televising me today, instead of the morning news!"

"What does that have to do with Friday?" asked Roxanne, only a little curious.

Megamind spun, his mouth opened, and hands held out as though he had something very important to say. Then his hands fell to his sides. "Actually… nothing."

Roxanne just shook her head with a sigh, and Megamind turned away so he wouldn't have to see her slightly disgruntled face. Her contempt for him and his plans was actually, and surprisingly… hurtful.

"More coffee, Miss Ritchie?" asked Minion, trying to change the subject.

"No, Minion!" said Megamind quickly. "It's time for us to put our plan into action. Time for Phase Three!"

"Oh! Yes sir!" Minion said quickly, hurrying to a place behind the camera.

Megamind placed himself close to the camera, taking a few deep breaths to prepare himself. "All right, Minion, I'm ready for my television debut. And… Action!"

The red light on the camera blinked on and Megamind let out a terrifying evil laugh. "Hello, Metrosity! It is your friendly neighborhood villain! Scream in terror!" He gave a small smile, thinking about all the people who were hopefully screaming in terror. Even if Roxanne wasn't terrified of him, he was positive most of Metrosity was.

"While it is incredibly enjoyable to be petrifying you, the citizens of Metrosity, with fear, I now speak directly to Metro Man. Metro Man, turn yourself over without a fight, and you will be able to save…" he paused dramatically for emphasis, "Roxanne Ritchie!"

Minion spun the camera on Roxanne as Megamind pulled a lever. The ground below the invisible cage pulled away, revealing a deep chasm. Roxanne jumped back in surprise, hitting her back against the invisible wall.

"If you do not turn yourself over within the hour, the chord that is holding her invisible cage will be cut, and she will fall to her doom," cackled Megamind. "One hour Metro Man!"

The little red light was turned off, and Megamind smiled happily, feeling quite impressed with his own talent for terror.

"Not bad," said Roxanne, still holding the invisible walls of her cage.

Megamind started a low cackle. "Yes, I know, I'm a master of villainy and all that."

"I was actually talking about the coffee," Roxanne replied, although her voice wavered.

"Are you alright?" Megamind asked in surprise. He'd always had the impression that Roxanne was afraid of nothing. Especially heights.

"Fine," snapped Roxanne. "Why do you care anyway? I thought you were trying to terrify me since forever."

"Is it working?" asked Megamind, smiling just a little.

"No," snapped Roxanne again.

"Sir, I think she's afraid of heights," said Minion in a soft voice.

"I am not," said Roxanne, her voice cracking.

"Of course not," laughed Megamind. "I mean Metro Man flies her around everywhere, she couldn't possibly be afraid of heights."

Roxanne's hands hurt from holding the bars of her cage so tightly, but she still was annoyed enough to snap. "Oh, of course, because you know everything about me Megamind. Ugh, just because you see me flying around with Metro Man, obviously that means I'm not afraid of heights. You don't know anything about me! Maybe that's why we hate each other so much."

Megamind blinked in surprise at her out burst. "I don't hate you," he said softly.

"What?" snapped Roxanne.

"Nothing," Megamind said quickly. "Look, I'm not going to cut the rope, and there's a firm surface beneath your feet. Just don't look down and everything will be alright."

"You're not fooling me," said Roxanne, her voice shaking.

Megamind looked around at a loss. He actually felt a bit… bad. "Trust me, Roxanne, you're not going to get hurt."

Roxanne looked in surprise at Megamind. "Did you just call me Roxanne?"

Megamind raised his eyebrows. "Well, it's not like I haven't done that before…" he said, thoughtful.

"I've just never heard you say it so… kindly."

Megamind turned away quickly, biting his lower lip. Yet another slip up.

"Um, right, well, I didn't mean it. Villains are never 'kind.'"

Roxanne sniffled in the background, and Megamind spun around in surprise. "Are you…are you _crying_?"

"It's just that, when I was younger, I fell off the high diving board at the pool, and I've never been the same since," sniffed Roxanne. "And here you are hanging me over a bottomless chasm. I-I-I'm already hy-hy-hyperventilating," she gasped.

"Oh my gosh," said Megamind in surprise. He put up his hands quickly. "Please, please don't do that Roxanne." Her face was turned away and her shoulders shook with dry sobs. He had the strange urge to pat her shoulder, or give her a hug. He actually felt terrible for making her so scared, even though that's what he always worked for. Of course, he always wanted to make her scream, not cry.

"Alright, Roxanne," said Megamind quickly. "I'll put the floor back, just please don't cry."

Megamind jumped for the button, feeling worried. He couldn't believe that he actually felt so terrible. He was a villain, for goodness sake, he shouldn't be feeling guilty about scaring his captive.

The floor slid shut. Then Roxanne turned a completely clean face toward Megamind, and smiled a huge smile, then slid straight out of where the wall of the cage should have been.

"You're missing three bars there Megamind," she said with a grin. "Next time finish the cage before you make it invisible."

"Wait-" said Megamind, confused.

Roxanne shook her head. "Yeah, I'm totally not afraid of heights," she laughed.

Megamind stood slack-jawed. "Minion!" he cried.

"On it, sir," replied Minion, running toward Roxanne. She jumped out of the way and sprinted for Megamind, tackling him head on.

"Oomph!" he cried in surprise. "What are you doing!"

"I'm saving the day for once," she said. Despite the fact that it was a serious statement, she seemed to be laughing happily. She jumped up and grabbed one of Megamind's flame throwers. He tried to get up, but she quickly jumped on him again, straddling him and aiming the flame thrower straight at his large head.

"Please don't melt me," Megamind cried, tossing his hands over his face.

Roxanne sighed. "I won't."

"Yes you will!"

"No, Megamind, I won't," she said, sounding annoyed and amused at the same time. "Just let me leave without a fight and I won't melt your abnormally huge head."

"Fine, fine, you win," Megamind said angrily.

"Megamind," said Roxanne softly. "Move your hands."

Megamind moved his hands from in front of his face and was shocked to see how close Roxanne was to him.

"Thanks, for caring and stuff, even if my fear of heights was an elaborate attempt to get out of that cage." She grinned. "I was in theatre in college."

Megamind was speechless. He looked down at where she was sitting on top of him. "Umm…"

"Oh yeah," said Roxanne, jumping off of Megamind. He tried not to let his disappointment show as she kept the flame thrower trained on him.

"Minion, get the door for me, won't you?" asked Roxanne pleasantly.

Minion looked quickly at his boss, who nodded his head quickly, still looking shocked. Minion opened the door, and Roxanne dropped the flame thrower, gave a flirtatious wave, and left.

"Well, sir, I guess that we'll just call this one a valiant effort and be on our way?" asked Minion hopefully.

Megamind's response was interrupted by a loud crash, as Metro Man zoomed through the ceiling.

"Minion," groaned Megamind as Metro Man handcuffed him. "No more invisible cages!"


	8. Chapter 8

"You will leave Metrosity once and for all, or this will be the last time you ever hear of Roxanne Ritchi!"

Megamind's camera swiveled toward Roxanne, who just sighed. She was tied up and steadily traveling on a conveyor belt toward a lumber saw.

"Hurry _Metro Mahn," _Megamind drawled, throwing in an evil laugh as his camera swiveled away.

Megamind crept toward Roxanne, who was trying, unsuccessfully, to loosen the bonds around her wrists.

"Comfortable, Miss Ritchi?" Megamind cackled.

"Not really, no," Roxanne replied in boredom. "Actually, you know since you're here, maybe you could just un-tie me and send me on my way, you know since we already know how this all ends, and since I have a hair appointment, like now."

Megamind gave a low, evil laugh. "Mwahahahahaha," he cackled slowly. "You only think you know how this ends!"

Roxanne squirmed against her binds again, rolling her eyes. "We all do, Megamind. Metro Man will swoop in, you guys will toss some dialogue for a couple minutes, thinking it's witty and clever but it's really not, then you'll get your but kicked, and I'll fly off with Metro Man."

Megamind's shoulders slumped and his lips twisted down into a frown. "That's not always true-"

"Oho, yes it is," Roxanne replied, flashing him a smile. I stopped being afraid of you a long time ago, Megamind."

Megamind's eyebrows shot up. "That's just hurtful!"

"Sorry," Roxanne replied, shrugging as best as she could with her hands tied behind her back. "But seriously, I need to go. I've had to cancel three hair cuts in the past week for these kidnappings. Come on, can't you cut a girl a break?"

"Hair cuts?" asked Megamind curiously. "That sounds painful."

Roxanne laughed. "I guess since you don't have hair you wouldn't know. Hair is dead. It doesn't feel. And mine's getting ridiculously long. It's time to get it cut."

Megamind surveyed Roxanne curiously. He liked her shoulder length hair, how it framed her face easily, and occasionally fell in her eyes.

"Out of sheer curiosity, not that I care at all in the slightest, because I don't, how short exactly are you getting your hair not-so-painfully cut?" asked Megamind. "Not that I care. Because I don't."

Roxanne raised one eyebrow at him. "You don't care?"

"Of course not!" snapped Megamind. "That is part of your mundane human life."

"Ok, then I'm not telling you."

"Please!"

Roxanne chuckled inwardly. He could be cute when he was trying to cover up his crush. Not that she cared at all in the slightest… right?

"I was thinking really short this time," she replied. "Like a pixie cut. Thoughts?"

"What's a pixie?" asked Megamind, but before he could reply, there was a crash as Metro Man soared through the building.

"Aha!" cried Megamind, swinging himself around. "You've flown right into my trap!"

Brainbots swung in from all around, dropping a heavy cage over Metro Man, and carni-bots came rushing in from all sides.

"We both know how this ends Megamind," growled Metro Man. "Freedom will burn evil in its flames."

"Until the biting cold of evil burns out your pathetic freedom."

"The people of Metro City will always feed the flames of freedom. It can never burn out!"

"Until the rains of revenge come down upon your precious citizens."

"Boys, can we hurry this up?" asked Roxanne, glancing at the lumber saw which was dangerously close to her head.

"You wanted a hair cut, you'll get one!" cackled Megamind, although Roxanne saw him glance at her, looking a bit worried. "Now's your chance Metro Man, save your precious girlfriend by giving yourself up, or see he split right down the middle! Which do you choose?"

"I choose neither!" exclaimed Metro Man, pushing the cage up easily. He swung it around, smacking carni-bots out of his way, however, Megamind was still cackling. He pulled out his dehydration gun, and pointed. Roxanne heard buzzing closer than ever before and ducked her head, closing her eyes as Minion leaned forward, ready to turn off the conveyor belt…

But there was no need. A carni-bot flew over Roxanne's head, hitting the saw and jamming up the gears. Roxanne's eyes flew open as another carni-bot hit Megamind square in the chest. He flew back with a yelp, then Roxanne was in Metro Man's arms.

"I had the whole thing under control," said Metro Man, flashing her a winning smile.

"Yeah, ok," she replied. "Just drop me off at the mall, I'm late for my hair appointment."

…

Megamind flipped through the channels on his television in his lonely cell, his chin resting on his hand. He stopped on channel 4, the news channel, without really meaning to. Then a picture of Roxanne came up.

She looked jarringly different, her hair shorter, but still falling over her face. It made her look more confident, spunky.

Megamind wouldn't admit it to her of course, but he thought he might like it.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Sorry about the long wait friends. I've been on fan fiction for a while reading Harry Potter stuff, and I realized how horribly I've been neglecting my own story, and my favorite couple.

This is a super long chapter. It just kept going and going and going, like the energizer bunny. And it took my like, _forever_ to write.

In answer to a few people's questions, I do plan on keeping this story going a little while longer, and I definitely plan on bringing in some movie and post-movie scenarios. Also, no I'm not planning on this being at all AU. I enjoy reading AU fics, I do not enjoy writing them. My story is simply based on the chemistry I saw between the two in the movie.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Megamind, I just think he is the coolest person of all time. Nor do I own _Casablanca_, which is also one of the coolest movies of all time.

…

Roxanne hadn't gone on a date in months.

It was like men were automatically scared away by her. She supposed it could be the kidnapping record, or more probably her the fact that all guys thought her "boyfriend" would knock them into the ground if they so much as looked at her.

But she didn't actually have a boyfriend, and she was starting to miss male attention. Besides that given to her by an evil alien and a super hero, of course.

This was why she was jealously watching Leslie as she finished doing her makeup in the bathroom at the studio. Roxanne was rarely jealous of Leslie, but the fact that she was the one about to go on a date while Roxanne would be doing her usual Friday night alone with a bucket of popcorn and _Casablanca _was really getting a little depressing.

"You've been washing your hands for the past five minutes, Roxi," said Leslie without even looking at Roxanne. "Seriously, move on."

"Sorry," muttered Roxanne quickly. "It's just-"

"Metro loser isn't really putting out for you?" teased Leslie, flashing Roxanne a grin.

"Oh, um-"

"Look, Roxanne, I know when a good looking girl like you is getting stiffed, and not the good kind," said Leslie, leaning up against the sink. "You're not actually dating him are you?"

Roxanne blinked in surprise at Leslie.

"Yeah, didn't think so," Leslie said, going back to her mirror. "Well, if you're actually missing guys giving you goo-goo eyes over a candle lit table, you can ask Davis out."

"Eric Davis?" asked Roxanne in surprise. "The design guy?"

"Oh yeah, he thinks you're cute."

Roxanne stared at her reflection in the mirror, contemplating this. For the first time she noticed that her mascara had been smudged, and her lips were dry and chapped. He actually liked her? Might even accept going on a date with her? She supposed there was only one way to find out, but first…

"Can I borrow that?" she asked, pointing to Leslie's over decorated make-up bag.

…

Roxanne paced her appartment, occasionally stopping to adjust her strapless olive colored dress, and quickly checking her hair every time she passed the mirror in her living room.

It had taken Eric a little convincing for the date. He was positively terrified of Metro Man. But Roxanne had managed to convince him that there was nothing actually going on with Metro Man. He finally accepted Roxanne's proposal for dinner. At first, Roxanne had been delighted.

Now, she wasn't so sure.

He was good looking, and smart, and funny. That was probably the reason that Roxanne felt like there was a rock in her stomach. He was great, but she was… well normal.

She knew it was just the fact that she hadn't been on a date in nearly two years, and that her three year college relationship had been, to put it nicely, awful.

It was just nerves, Roxanne kept telling herself.

But that wasn't exactly it either. She wasn't sure how she actually felt about this guy. They'd spent some time together, but she hardly knew him, hardly knew about his life, his tendencies, even what food he liked. She'd quickly suggested her favorite Italian restaurant, just assuming he liked Italian, but he quickly declined that and suggested a Tai instead. Roxanne had agreed.

But she hated spicy food.

Then again, who knew that she hated spicy food. She could only think of a couple people her parents and…

Well, it was besides the point, and she certainly wasn't going to think about _him._ She wouldn't let a good night be ruined. She would suck it up, order the most mild thing on the menu, and try to put the pair of haunting green eyes out of her mind.

…

"I'm so bored of cleaning, Minion," groaned Megamind, sounding more like a whiny child than a full grown alien.

"I've already told you sir, you don't have to help me," replied Minion from the corner, where he was wearing an apron and flicking spider webs out of the corner with a feather duster.

"But I'm booored," moaned Megamin again, louder and even more whiny.

From his corner, Minion both smiled, and rolled his eyes. Megamind was the type of person who had to be entertained every moment of every day.

"You could try to rob a bank."

"All the banks are closed."

"You could fix that malfunction in the computer system."

"To much thinking involved."

"We could go kidnap Roxanne Ritchi."

It wasn't a real suggestion, it was getting late and there was no actual plan to go along with it, it had just come out of Minion's mouth before he even thought about it.

However, Megamind's silence signaled that he was thinking about it.

"That sounds like an excellent plan," Megamind said after a long moment of silence. "Minion, fetch that tracking device that connects to the one I implanted in Ritchi's purse! Fetch my cape! And fetch the car!"

Minion shook his fishy head, regretting his decision to even bring it up, and realizing what a long night it was going to be.

…

Eric was a nerd.

Roxanne had decided this just a few minutes before when he had spit out something about computers that quite literally flew over her head.

And he wasn't a nerd in the good way. There were nerdy cute people, then there was Eric. He was too smart for his own good. At first Roxanne thought it could have been cute, but then it started to get annoying. She was smart, but these tech jokes kept going straight over her head. Even Megamind was considerate enough to keep his annoyingly large brains to himself, sometimes anyway.

However, she was here, eating expensive food that someone else was paying for, occasionally nodding her head when she did understand something, and happily jumping on opportunities to laugh and jokes she only half-understood.

It wasn't a good date, but it wasn't a bad date either, and the champagne a fact that she had the company of someone who wasn't a super hero or villain for once was making the world just a little brighter.

Roxanne had just started laughing with Eric about one of the camera men tripping down the stairs with a boom, when there was a loud crash and a scream.

Megamind, in all his big blue headed glory was stepping through a huge hole in the wall onto a pile of rubble.

"Oh my God," whispered Roxanne, sinking low into her chair.

"Citizens!" cried Megamind, his arms outstretched. "All I ask is that you hand over Roxanne Ritchi. Do this and no one gets hurt."

"Oh my God," Roxanne repeated, burying her face in her hands. She couldn't have been more embarrassed.

"Oh Ritchi!" called Megamind. "Hand yourself over or let these people be tortured one by one."

This was the point when Roxanne no longer felt embarrassed. Instead, she felt a new emotion take over.

She was pissed.

"No!" she exclaimed, standing quickly.

"No?" Megamind replied haughtily, dragging out his o.

"No!" she repeated, stomping toward him, her finger pointed at him. "I am so sick and tired of you ruining everything for me, Megamind. Every day of my life has to be planned around you. On the one day I actually feel like a person you're trying to ruin it!"

Megamind stepped back in surprise. He'd never heard Roxanne's voice reach such a high pitch.

"I finally, finally get to go on a date, but you just have to step in and be your usual self, don't you? You can't let me just have a normal life. No, I have to be the damsel every damn day. I'm so tired of it!"

"But-"

"No, not finished," said Roxanne, her pointed finger now pressed up against Megamind's thin chest. "I know that you don't understand earth customs, but barging in on a lady late at night, or in her home after she's just taken a shower are terrible, terrible ideas. Why can't you just kidnap me when I'm at work, or covering a story? That would make my life a lot easier."

"This isn't about your convenience, Ritchi," spat Megamind, surpised to find himself fighting back. "In fact, villains don't care-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Roxanne snapped. "You have an image to uphold, whatever. Do me a favor though, no better yet, do yourself a favor and maybe take a week off and ponder, why are you doing all this in the first place? You being a villain isn't bringing anyone any closer, it's only pushing them away." _Myself included._

Hurt registered in Megamind's green eyes, but it disappeared in a second and was replaced with anger, an anger that Roxanne had never seen before.

"I guess I'll be going then," Megamind said, turning on his heel.

Suddenly, Roxanne felt a slight pain in her chest. Did she… could she… possibly feel bad for him? Was that even possible? For an insane moment, Roxanne felt the urge to run and grab his arm and gently apologize. She softened at his set shoulders, the look that he took on when he was trying to make up for the fact that he did actually have feelings. She wanted to say she was sorry and… and…

And what?

"Megamind," she whispered.

He shook his head and walked out of the hole in the wall.

Roxanne sighed, her shoulders slumping as well. Then, she shook her head, deciding not to let it bother her. She was determined to have a good night if it killed her.

She walked back over to her dust covered table where Eric was sitting looking slightly stunned.

"Sorry about that," Roxanne said easily, as though she were trying to brush off an embarrassing sibling. "Where were we?"

"I'm thinking we should call it a night," said Eric, still looking at Roxanne uneasily.

"What!" exclaimed Roxanne. "But, it was just starting to get fun." It was a lie of course but she was determined to try to enjoy herself.

"I just don't want to date someone who's not available," muttered Eric, looking down as he folded his napkin.

"I already told you, I'm not seeing Metroman."

"I wasn't talking about Metroman," Eric stated shortly.

Roxanne looked at him questioningly, then what he was saying dawned on her.

"Megamind?" she asked. "You've got to be kidding. Come on Eric, let's just eat our food and-"

"I'll see you at work Roxanne," he said, standing and leaving before she even had a chance to explain anything.

Roxanne watched him leave feeling upset, then embarrassed, then angry.

As soon as he walked out the door, Roxanne tipped back her head and groaned.

He had left her with the check.


End file.
